BAMF
by mk94
Summary: Drabbles with Bamf Columbus! There will be slash (Talumbus/ Tallahassee x Columbus), death, fun, sadness and sex. So I rate it on low m. In other words, M. Hope you have fun. Just drabbles!
1. Car

**Car:**

„THEY ARE TOO MANY!" Little Rock shouted to the others as she ripped one undead's head off and shot another two down. "TALLAHASSEE! WE HAVE TO GET AWAY!" Wichita yelled at their leader while smashing few of them with a pan in each hand. "BUT IT'S JUST GETTING GOOD!" Tallahassee laughed, kicking in a zombie's face and trying overkill with his chain saw. "I GET THE CAR!" Columbus screams over to his group, dodging another attack and taking care of rule #2. "DON'T! WE KNOW HOW YOU DRIVE AND RIGHT NOW WE MUST ESCAPE! NOT DRIVING LIKE SOME GRANNY!" Wichita shouts over. Columbus watched the others agree. He ignored it and ran to their car.

For a while the girls and Tallahassee were smashing some more heads when suddenly their SUV drifted over, nocking a large number of undeads down. The door from the passenger seat opened and the ex-student looked out. "NOW COME IN!"

"Ok, but I drive!" Tallahassee shouted but was surprised when Columbus didn't move and simply replied, "No time for it! Come in!" They all jumped in and closed the doors. "Seat bells!" Columbus shouted, starting the car again. Everyone groaned. "Do it! Or you will regret it!"

"Ok! Seat bells on or little princess won't drive!" Tallahassee commanded and the girls in the back seats obeyed with another groan. Before they knew it, the car was already running the zombies over. Tallahassee looked at the teen. Columbus looked very concentrating, repeated glancing at the rearview mirror. Then he turned sharp left which made the other survivors shout shocked. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" They screamed but Columbus didn't answer. They screamed in horror as they saw a broken bridge Columbus was heading to. "May I know how much your weight is? Would be helpful right now-"

"NOWAY! WHY DO YOU NEED TO-"Wichita snapped but was interrupted.

"ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ME OR NOT?" Columbus shouted, still heading towards the ruins of the bridge. When no one replied Columbus glared at them shortly, "ARGHH! OK PLAN B IT IS! TALLAHASSEE! WHEN I SAY NOW YOU WILL SHOOT SO OPEN YOUR WINDOW!" Tallahassee glared at him. "What do you think I should shoot at-"

"JUST DO IT! DAMN!"

Tallahassee opened his window and readied his gun. The whole group grew more and more nervous when Columbus still headed to the bridge. When they almost reached the end, the teen managed a 180 rotation just in time to stop on the very end of the bridge. They screamed in horror and heard the screeching of the wheels as Columbus stomped with all his might on the gas pedal. "NOWNOWNOW!" Columbus screamed. They were now driving into the large horde of zombies, many of them fell down the bridge, other many crashed into the car and again other many were shot down from Tallahassee to keep their way through them as free as possible.

After what seems to them like an eternity, the horde cleared and they finally…FINALLY…got rid of them. After another hour Columbus finally stopped the car. Columbus watched the others still sitting in silence. "The next time when something like this happened, all of you will do as I say, got it?" He shied away as they glared at him. "DID YOU LOST YOUR MIND!?" Wichita snapped hysterical.

"DID YOU WANT TO KILL US OR WHAT WAS THAT BACK THERE?" Little Rock agreed furious.

"ARE YOU CRAZY?!" Tallahassee growled. Columbus blushed ashamed, looking down.

"It worked…didn't it? … can you drive now? I think I'm losing consciousness any moment now…" He asked the older man. They switched and went on to a place to rest for the night.

Columbus smiled lightly by their leader's next words.

"From now on, Columbus is responsible for escapes like these. Got it?"

The girls, this time with agreements in their voices, replied," Yeah, got it."


	2. The woods

**The woods:**

Little Rock sighed for the third time this evening. Tallahassee and Wichita screamed and yelled at each other still, fighting for whose fault it was that Columbus gone missing.

In the woods.

At night.

The girl sighed again. "You were the one who sent him get fire wood!" Wichita snapped.

"And you had to accompany him! I wanted YOU BOTH to get fire wood! Where were you!?"

"Guys! What are you fighting about?" Columbus asked. Everyone looked at him. Here he stood, unharmed; content as if he didn't get lost three hours ago with a whining wolf's tongue in his grip. The group watched him in shock. "What are you doing?" Wichita whispered hysterical.

Columbus looked down to the wolf and back to his group. "W-well, when I was lost, I-I got attacked by a group of wolfs. I just…I don't know what I did, but when this one jumped at me, I…I just grabbed his tongue. I remember that wolfs and dogs are at your mercy when you grab their tongues…" They watched the wolf helpless whining. "I noticed this one is the leader because the other wolfs didn't dare to attack me," Columbus continued. "I didn't want to kill him, I think he's just hungry. And tired"

The wolf whined more, his tail tucked under his belly and his whole body trying to be as small as possible. Columbus stroked his fur carefully. "He's really afraid."

"Then let it go!" Little Rock shouted, clearly afraid of the wild animal.

Columbus just walked over to his bag and took out some dry meet, the wolf in tow. He held it up to the animal's snout which made it excited. The group shouted as Columbus let go of him and quickly slung his arm around the wolf's neck. The wolf took a bit of the food. After a bit of more whining, Columbus let go of him completely. Columbus shouted in shock and pain as the wolf bit his arm angrily and ran away.

"COLUMBUS!" They shouted, quickly getting their first aid kid and taking care of his injured arm. Columbus chuckled suddenly, "what have I'm been thinking? A Wolf! Oh…blood…" with that he fell unconscious.

Tallahassee huffed," that kid has some balls…"


	3. Family

**Family:**

Wichita tried to calm her crying little sis. Tallahassee was out. He lay unconscious beside them, his head is bleeding. All of them were tied, unable to get away. What did they expect to find in this empty military hall?

Zombies? Yes.

Food? Yes.

Other survivors who are robbing them after they killed them? No.

"Can't you just take our stuff and be done with us?" Wichita shouted at them. That earned her a punch into her face. "Shut it, girl." Their leader, an old man with beard snapped. "It will be easier for us that way…"

Suddenly his phone beeped, everyone looked at him surprised. The old man took it out and answered with an irritated, "Hello?"

"Let them go," was whispered. The man quickly looked around, "Who is there? How did-?"

"That's not important. Just let them go. In a world like this, shouldn't people like us helping each other?" the voice asked, it was a young voice.

"What do you want kid?"

"If you want our stuff, take it. But let these people alone."

"What if I don't?"

The leader watched his group looking at him in horror. "What is?" He snapped annoyed. "Th-there!" One of them shouted, pointing at a bright red dot on his head. He paled.

He heard some deep breath," Please, I don't want to kill someone who is actually not a zombie. But these people are my family. Don't make me do it. "

The old man smirked, "Now listen up kid, I know you won't shoot me, even after I killed you _family_. You just have to deal with it, right?" With that, he pointed his gun at Little Rock. "Say goodbye to-", suddenly there was an explosion and smoke came from everywhere. Then he looked around in the smoke, hearing his men shouting in shock, in pain, in horror. Every shout was stooped with a shot. He quickly turned to kill the other three people so both he and the boy would be even. But then he saw the end of a gun pointing at his face. There he stood, the boy, armed from head to toe in military weapons and uniform between him and the other survivors. "I said you can take our stuff. Just not to kill them." The boy said, pulling the trigger.

Wichita watched the leader fall dead to the ground. The soldier in front of them started to shake and threw up. "I didn't want to do it…" he chocked between gasps, his voice shaking.

"Columbus? Is that you?" Little Rock gasped through her sobs.

The soldier slowly turned around to show, yes, it was indeed Columbus in front of them, shaking, heaving his breath before he took few steps back and threw up again. "I just…I just-!" He choked out, looking horrified at his hand and fell to his knees. The girls didn't say anything, just giving him time to handle the situation. "Thank you, you saved our lives," Wichita spoke up calm. Columbus just nodded. "Tallahassee…is he…?"

"No. Just unconscious, is all."

The teen sighed in relief. He then stood up and freed them from the ties. They were silent as they took their sleeping friend to their car outside the hall. "If it's ok, I would…" Columbus said, taking a shovel from their car. "I'll help. Sis, take care of Tallahassee." Wichita replied, also taking a shovel and following the other teen.

After the last man was under the earth, Columbus took a deep breath. "Could I please have a moment?" Wichita just nodded and left.

Columbus walked towards the place where the old man lay. He sighed sadly, "I'm sorry for killing you…I just can't let my family be hurt, you know? …I hope that you understand. You know…" He looked over to the car where the girls are bandaging the man. "…this people are there for me and I'll be there for them. But I still feel bad…I feel awful…I can't explain how I feel for killing someone who actually lives. Zombies just do what they do, so kill them or get killed. But we humans can make decisions. I wish you would have chosen differently…because even if I just killed you hours before, I regretted it by the time when I shot your first man. I'm sorry…" Columbus looked at the other graves, "I'm sorry."

…

Tallahassee was greeted with hugs and cheery greeting when he woke up. "Wha' happen'?" He slurred out, rubbing his head to notice that he was bandaged. They were in their SUV, driving towards the next city "Weren't we just surrounded by some assholes? Damn! Did I miss all the fun?" They laughed and Columbus replied quietly," yes, you missed quite a bit."

"Hey, were did you get that outfit? Where were you when we got trapped? Shit, what happened anyway?!" He shouted irritated but excited all the same. The girls grew nervous, looking at Columbus who just chuckled weakly, "I saved your ass, you idiot!"

"Hey, don't call me idiot, Spitfuck!" Tallahassee snapped.

"But I saved you, so shut up and let me drive," Columbus smiled, but he still looked troubled. Tallahassee gave a questioning look at the girls who just shook their heads sadly. Columbus will tell him, just not now.


	4. Thief

**Thief:**

"H-hey Tallahassee!" Columbus greeted nervously. Tallahassee looked at him suspicious, "Hey…"

"So, what are you doing?"

Tallahassee put down his sandwich on the desk where he was about to eat, beside his Twinkie. "What do you think it looks like?"

Columbus chuckled nervously. "I… I can see that…just-"

"Just what?"

Columbus blushed as he leaned forward, "Can I sit with you?"

"…sure?"

With that Tallahassee had somehow got himself a problem. He took his sandwich, trying to take a bite and ignoring the intense stare. "What!" He snapped at the teen. Columbus flinched and blushed furious, looking at his feet. "Well…I thought to ask you…"

"…what?"

"Just…it has been almost a year now since the outbreak…"

"And?" he asked, taking a bite.

Columbus looked up and with a deadpanned expression he asked, "Don't you have needs or something?"

Tallahassee coughed up his food he had just been swallowing. "Where's tha' coming from, spitfuck?!" He shouted, of course NOT blushing. Columbus smiled at him, evil, Tallahassee thought. Suddenly, a hand found his thigh. He yelped and looked at the teen's hand, wide eyed. "What are ya doing?" the redneck whispered. "Just asking some questions…" Columbus blushed deeply red as he leaned closer to him. "In a world like this… everybody has needs…you…." His face grew redder, but he kept his intense stare,"…me…"

"A-and?" he of course DID NOT stutter, trying to ignore the touch moving up his thigh and the teens lips leaning closer. "…I'm sorry, Tallahassee…"

"…What?"

"I have it!" Columbus shouted, running away to the girls. Wichita and Little Rock were cheering and laughing, clapping their hands in delight. "…huh?" Tallahassee mouthed confused. "You didn't notice? Columbus just stole your beloved Twinkie!" Little Rock laughed, pointing at the man. Tallahassee looked down at his food. Indeed, his Twinkie is missing. He glanced up and found Columbus with Twinkie in hand and looking guilty. "YOU!" He screamed, jumping up, chasing the thief down.

"I'm sorry, Tallahassee! The girls dared me to!"


	5. jealousy

**Jealousy (Or the time where Columbus knew what he was doing…):**

It's not like they were a couple. No, just fuckbuddies. Columbus knew that. But that still doesn't mean that he should like that new survivor! She was stupid. And blond. And awfully gorgeous! She called herself Blondie. Columbus hated her. Right now she was leaned against his lov-**fuckbuddy **and flirting shameless. And Tallahassee was even flirting back! With his hands on her legs and hips, whispering something flirty in her ear while kissing it, it made the teen feel sick. And then, IT happened. Tallahassee brushed some hair over her ear which made her giggle and THAT was NOT Okay!

Columbus stood up, stomping away. Only Wichita and Little Rock noticed this. After few minutes, Columbus returned, throwing a pair of socks at the now snogging pair. "Hey!" Blondie snapped, annoyed at the interruption. Tallahassee stared at the socks and back at Columbus. The boy just smirked, well, tried to smirk. It came more out like a nervous chuckle with an evil glance in his eyes. Then Columbus turned around and left again quickly. Tallahassee jumped up from the couch they were making out, ignoring the protests from Blondie. The girls watched the redneck running out of the room, the socks forgotten on the ground.

It didn't take long and loud thumps with old creeks could be heard just as Columbus shouts of," Harder! Harder TallahAAAHH!"

The sisters laughed at Blondie's horrified and disgusted face.

"Normally Columbus is not that loud with the socks, you know?" Little Rock smirked at the blonde.


	6. Names

**Names:**

Columbus hated it when Tallahassee called him a whore…or a bitch…he knew the redneck doesn't mean that. It also only happened when it was…in the heat of their moments…

But not this time.

Columbus panted beneath his lover, holding tight on the shoulders and concentrating not to come so fast.

"Already loosing yourself? I thought nothing else of my bitch…"

"Well, it's _hard_ to not lose control when you're so good…daddy…"

Columbus didn't dare to smirk as he felt his lover flinch. "…What did you say?" he asked seriously, maybe hoping to just have imagined it. "You're so good, so large, daddy-"

Tallahassee pulled away from him and sat up, looking at him sternly. "Stop that."

"Why should I?" Columbus replied, "Does daddy have a problem with that?"

"Yes, it's a fucking turn off. Stop calling me that."

"Why daddy?" Columbus asked innocently. "I love you daddy…"

Tallahassee growled angrily. "Stop that you little shit."

Columbus also sat up, giving him his own glare. "Stop calling me bitch, whore, rent boy and that stuff and we have a deal."

Tallahassee stared at him and then started to laugh. "Ya little…" he started to kiss the teen again, pushing him down to the backseat again. They were snogging in nice silence, starting to get heated again. And as they were lost in their actions, Tallahassee saved himself from another 'daddy' as he grunted instead of 'cocksucker', he grunted, "Come on Love…."

He was surprised as Columbus came immediately.


	7. Being a man

**This story has (for the first time ever it seems) Fem!Tallahassee in it! Just so you know it, have fun!**

**Being a man:**

Donny watched happily the women struggling with their bounded hands and legs. "Don't try too hard, ladies…" he laughed with his minions.

"Fuck you!" the brunette, Wichita snapped at him," when Columbus comes for me then you will regret what you have done!"

The little girl beside her laughed humorless," you mean when he comes for **me**, right?"

Donny looked irritated at the oldest of them, chuckling and shaking her head, making her blond locks bounce lightly. "You children can have fantasies sometimes…the little spitfuck will come for me and you know it."

Donny and the minions switched confused glances as the women argued of whom this Columbus will come to save. The leader cleared his mind and grinned at them.

"Well, I'm quite curious to meet that Columbus guy. Sounds like a real man, right?"

Suddenly a car came around a street cross and drifted with a loud screech to a stop. A bony, curly haired boy stumbled out of the car. He wobbled a bit around the car before throwing up.

Donny turned to the girls, confused as he saw them watching the sick boy with hearty eyes.

After the boy choked the last bit from his stomach out, he cleaned his mouth with tissues and a water bottle before, finally, getting out his shot gun from the car and standing in front of the group.

"Uh…Sorry for the wait…I just get sick when swirling around too much," the curly boy said apologetically, pointing at the SUV behind him.

"Are you Columbus?" Donny asked. The boy looked over to the girls and back to him, nodding.

The leader could only laugh. "Are you serious?! That guy is your knight in shiny armor?!"

Donny and his minions laughed at Columbus. Columbus didn't move and watched them silently. The other kept on laughing as he walked towards the boy. "How do YOU want to fight me? I bet you can't even use that shotgun in your hands."

"Ac-Actually I-"

Columbus smiled nervously, taking a step back when the other intruded his personal space.

"What? Am I too scary?" Donny mocked, smirking at the girls who glared at him while the blond woman kept on making flirty faces at the boy.

Suddenly, an arm was around his neck, holding him tight. Columbus was holding the man as shield so the minions won't shot at him and took out his Swiss army knife and held it to Donny's throat.

"No stupid moves!" Columbus shouted to the minions. "Now free the women and let go your weapons…or the other way around, yes! The other way around!"

When the girls were freed, they bounded the leader and the minions.

"You were so awesome!" Little Rock said dreamily and hugged Columbus. Columbus was about to hug back when Tallahassee pulled him away from the girl and hugged him as well, burying his face into her huge boobs. "He's too old for you, girl, get it into your head," she smirked at the glaring child, not noticing the struggling boy in her grip.

"And you are too old for him, get THAT into your head!" Wichita snapped and pulled the panting and blushing boy into her own tight hug.

"I'm happy that you're all ok, but…" Columbus breathed out," let me breathe…"

And with that, Columbus passed out.

"See what you both have done!" Little Rock shouted at the two older women angrily. "He's dying and only because you choked him to death!"

"Let me save him! Me, as the woman with the most experience, should give him mouth to mouth," Tallahassee reasoned before kneeling beside the knocked out boy.

"You wish!" Wichita snapped and threw herself at the other, preventing her to come closer. "You old hag won't get to molest him! That should be me!"

Little Rock giggled at the older two fighting, sneaking up to Columbus to give him mouth to mouth.

She whined childish as Tallahassee and Wichita pulled her away out of the blue, scolding her for her actions and being too young for that.

"Damn, I wonder how that boy did manage THAT?" Donny heard one of his minions whispering. He glared at the other, but felt the same. That Columbus truly must be a man when three females are actually fighting over him like that.


End file.
